"…[I]t was sitting during the days, hours of unspeakable fear, fear opening in the center of you like a giant blossom, you couldn’t analyze it, figure why it was there, and that made it worse. Hours of sitting in a chair in the middle of a room, run through and stricken. Shifting or pissing a major effort, nonsense, and combing your hair or brushing your teeth—ridiculous and insane acts. Walking through a sea of fire. Or pouring water into a drinking glass—it seemed you had no right to pour water into a drinking glass. I decided I was crazy, unfit, and this made me feel dirty. I went to the library and tried to find books about what made people feel the way I was feeling, but the books weren’t there or if they were I couldn’t understand them. Going into the library was hardly easy—everybody seemed so comfortable, the librarians, the readers, everybody but me. I kept going out and walking across the street, up a winding stairway in a cement building where they stored thousands of crates of oranges. A sign on the roof of another building said JESUS SAVES but neither Jesus or oranges were worth a damn to me walking up that winding stairway and into that cement building. I always thought, this is where I belong, inside of this cement tomb."
- Charles Bukowsi, South of No North (via minevras)
(Source: runyoupigeonsitsrobertfrost, via minevras)
I want to lose wieght
But I also want to eat more donuts